Obituary for Lt Col FR Fleming

Lt Col Francis (Frank) Richard Fleming of Burwash, East Sussex, died on 21 September 2007 aged 79. He served with 1 R Norfolk in Korea 1951-2, then in Hong Kong and latterly with the E Anglian and R Anglian Regiments in the Radfan, Aden, Cyprus, BAOR and Northern Ireland. He is in the photograph taken in Korea 1951-2 in the CP in Samichon Valley, featured in B&C 100 June 2003, extracted above. The Regiment was represented at his funeral by Col Rupert Conder, Maj Tony Towell MC and David Jolley Esq. Below is the funeral address by his daughter Matilda.

‘Daddy was not a man who courted attention or who liked fuss, but he was a good, decent, honourable human being, family man and a British Army officer. He was intensely loyal, fair, generous, kind, accepting people’s strengths and weaknesses. He made the best of situations and enjoyed making people laugh. He was highly intelligent, and that intelligence and quick wit shone through right until the end of his life. Even when it is a merciful release from a dementia which is a slow loss of the person, the death of a much loved husband, father and grandfather is a harrowing loss and daddy is deeply missed and lovingly remembered by his family. First and foremost he was a family man who, above all, loved, and was devoted to mummy, me, Dennis, to his grandchildren Emma and Andrew and to his brother Peter and his family. Mummy will remember him as someone who made her feel that anything was possible if one put one’s mind to it. He said ‘never think of the difficulties, only the solutions’. He gave her the courage to do things and face things she never dreamt she was capable of. She travelled to places and saw things throughout their life together which she never dreamt of in her youth, and Frank leaves her with a host of wonderful memories of their life together.

‘She tells me that her one sadness is that they never made their 50th wedding anniversary due next year. She remembers him as a strong man, loving and loyal. I shall always remember him from my childhood as a wonderful father who was a companion and soul mate, who laughed and joked with me and with whom I had an understanding. He never failed to write to me every week when I was away at school and when I was at home he was a constant loving companion with whom I shared the love of sport, playing cards, reading, doing puzzles, animals and travelling. In my adult life, he was always to be relied upon for guidance and support and for his generosity. He was overjoyed when his grandchildren were born and he loved occasions when the whole family were gathered together. He was appreciative of efforts made for him and was always polite and gentlemanly in showing his gratitude for meals cooked or presents given. He loved his home and the security, happiness, peace and quiet it offered: this was all the more so given that he had lost his own mother at a very early age and from then on had had a turbulent childhood. Only lately, as his illness took hold, did he tell his family about his feelings of bewilderment surrounding the loss of his mother.

‘He bore his illness with typical calmness and stoicism and never once complained or made a fuss. Even in the last year of his life, when, to the intense pain and distress of all of us in the family, he had to be admitted to Dudwell St Mary Care Home, he brought joy to his family and to the people who cared for him daily with his cheerfulness and gentlemanly politeness. Daddy enjoyed a distinguished 35-year career in the R Norfolk and R Anglian Regiments. He served his country in campaigns in Korea, the Radfan, Cyprus and Northern Ireland. His time in the Army brought him happiness, companionship, camaraderie and security and he and mummy made many lifelong friends. He enjoyed an extremely happy retirement in which he was fortunate to fulfil his lifelong ambition both to ensure the security of his family and to retire to the south of France and we are thankful that he had several years of deserved joy, peace and happiness before his illness began.

‘Mummy made his last years as happy as possible and right up to the end of his life enabled him to enjoy his love of the countryside, nature and animals by taking him out, driving, 2-3 times a week. Her devotion to him was valiant and something for which, we know for sure, he was supremely grateful every time he saw her. We miss his smile, we miss his presence and we miss his laughter, wit and companionship. We miss him, but a part of him lives on in all of us, both in his spirit and through his family.’

Below is a reminiscence by Col Rupert Conder:

It was heartening to see some Royal Norfolk ties on display at Frank’s funeral. I served with him when he was OC B Company 1st Battalion, 1st E Anglian Regiment ‘up country’ in the Radfan in 1964 when Jack Dye was Commanding Officer.

After a brief tour in Oman with the Northern Frontier Regiment, I was posted back to the Battalion and appointed as one of Frank’s platoon commanders during internal security operations in Aden, when Tim Creasey was Commanding Officer. I shall always remember the many occasions, even during the most pressing operational times, when Frank could be found religiously updating his book of racing results, yet ready to hold his company ‘O Group’ five minutes later! In 1965 the Bn moved to Celle in Germany, Frank was posted out and Mike Thorne took over from him. In 1968, I was posted to the Infantry Junior Leaders Battalion in Oswestry in Shropshire where I again found that I was serving with Frank who was commanding a company there. David Wright, another Royal Anglian officer, was also in the IJLB at the time and it was always an amusement to see if we could ever appear on the daily muster parade in the same items of uniform (I don’t think we ever achieved it!).

We held a mini-Minden Day parade for the three of us and a couple of Royal Anglian NCOs. Frank took the salute and, before dismissing the ‘parade’, ordered us to the Mess for a glass of champagne. In 1969 Frank was short-toured and sent to Northern Ireland to become, I believe, SO1 (Int) in HQNI to help counter the IRA build-up. I was fortunate to be appointed to take over as company commander from him and be made an acting major. In 1970 1 R Anglian was posted to Londonderry where I joined it as IO and received a briefing from Frank. After that we lost touch, but we met up on a couple of occasions at Radfan reunion dinners, held to commemorate the capture of the Jebel Huriyah, the highest peak in the Radfan.

JLR